Dear Reader,

Welcome to my baby blog! You may be wondering- what the heck is this blog about? Well, that’s nice of you to ask, but I truly am letting this thing grow as I grow and the best I can give is self-improvement? Maybe?

As I’ve slowly become an actual adult, I’ve come to realize a few things in my life and that is how I matter, too.

Which, duh? Right? You’d think so, that being the personal driver in my own seat that I’d be at least number three (I’ve got two kids and they will always come first), but that couldn’t have been further from the truth before last year.

My parents need me to rearrange their bedroom, but I had plans to have a self care day? Done. I’m coming over to organize your sock drawer and change those curtains. My husband tells me he’s starving, but I already prepped the low calorie salad and finished dinner early for the day? Sure. I’m going to get on making something that will take me an extra two hours. (ps. my husband would never expect this of me, it’s my own self destructive behavior-thanks, self.)

I am a certified people-pleaser, or was, until I realized that I had spent twenty-seven years of my life making sure everyone was happy but me. Part of that realization was that I finally decided that my depression/anxiety had overstayed its welcome and started medication that made me feel like I had woken up from a coma. That sucked. It sucked…so bad. I felt like I had wasted so much of my life simply surviving each day and never living- I’m not sure I ever lived before I started taking it.

And no, this is not me saying you should take medicine or that it will fix everything, but for me, personally it was the start. My first door that opened everything else- and God, was living amazing.

The second thing was a new friend that added so much good to my life- made me a better person, a better mother, and broke me out of my shell. I don’t think I could ever really admit to her how much she changed my life, but K, if you ever read this, thank you- thank you for pulling me out of the darkness.

And the most important thing was exactly what I said at the beginning- remembering that I fucking mattered, too. That I wasn’t just a mother, a wife, a daughter- but a person, with wants and desires that deserved to be filled. It seems so simple, but its the one thing I promise you haven’t tried if you continue to fail yourself- if you don’t show up to what you want and you wonder constantly why you can’t do it.

It’s because you have to learn to love yourself- really love every curve and roll and pants size- every bit of yourself. Love. It.

And that’s why we are here, to continue my journey in loving and finding myself and helping others to do the same.

So, come along and let’s do this.

xx, T.